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There's Absolutely Nothing Creepier Than Really Crappy Animatronics

We covered most of the creepy things about Disney parks, but we neglected to mention that they’re populated by robots! Walt himself coined the phrase “animatronics” when he first combined robots and sound in the Enchanted Tiki Room attraction at DisneyLand. Since then, I think anyone who ever entered a Chuck E. Cheese can agree that animatronics have gotten out of hand. As amateurs try their hand at making terrifying robo-terrors, Disney keeps making these super-animatronics that are surely going to take over the world. We must put a stop to this.

The rainbow is not helping this look any less scary, thanks.

This looks like Chucky the doll’s cousin, only as a car salesman and killing way more people.

If you stare at her eyelids long enough, you’ll see them open in your sleep.

They’ve built an army. What have we done?

Are most animatronics just made in a 2nd period high school shop class?


She looks almost real enough for me to believe a witch made her look like this.

The robots may imitate our music, but they will never truly understand.

For a second there, I thought the one in the back had a gun. Phew!

Amazement that you are still alive and not rotting in his basement.

The Jack Sparrow animatronic looks too much like Johnny Depp. I wouldn’t be surprised if they used it instead of Depp in the last 3 Pirates of the Caribbean movies.

Disney’s Mr. Potato Head animatronic uses a hidden camera and microphone to mock your futile human existence.

I’m going as this whole horrible shelf for Halloween next year.

Lucky the Dinosaur actually walks unguided around Disney’s Animal Kingdom selling goods. As if small business owners didn’t already have enough competition in this country.

This dismembered robot-bear head is pretty bummed about being in this box.

Look ma, no hands! No eyes!

This doggie drummer looks fully aware that his creators forgot to program him with a soul.

The Abraham Lincoln animatronic at Disney Land can recite the Gettysburg Address, making him the most advanced sixth-grader ever created.

I don’t like these conspiring robo-bears one bit.

This one went a little overboard with the makeup.

Snow White’s dwarves recently came to life and beautifully emote their lives as everyone’s group of supremely friendzoned dudes.

You can really see the absence of life behind his eyes.

I think humanity’s biggest mistake was creating animatronic Abraham Lincoln. He’s capable of stopping a robo-Civil War that could allow us to thrive.